One of the major ways in which parents may support their children’s development is by helping them discover their purpose in life, which is considered one of the greatest gifts a parent can give to a child. Children who have a clear and well-defined inner guide are usually the ones who, despite the distractions and pressures around them, are able to remain strong, determined and satisfied with their lives. Just like an heirloom that a family passes down from generation to generation, purpose cannot be handed down, because it is something that changes and develops through personal understanding, involvement and thinking. To be parents is not to dictate to children’s purpose, but to enable them to explore and try out different things, and to find the connection between their abilities and the use of those abilities in the community around them.
It starts with inquisitiveness and understanding one’s own personality. Encourage your children to try different things: sports arts science projects volunteering creative hobbies, only not with the idea of pushing them to become good or to perform. Here are a few starting questions you might use: What made you lose track of time today? When do you feel most alive? These types of conversations support kids in recognizing the things that most inspire them. Note what they like most. If they smile when they are helping others, they could be very good in a service-related profession. If they are so focused on making or building things, they might be very happy either in creating or in solving. Instead of quickly identifying their interests, allow them to explore and gradually help them.
Another way to feel a sense of purpose is to set small meaningful goals for yourself. You can teach children to take big dreams and break them down into smaller, doable steps, and recognize the effort, not the result. So if a kid is interested in helping to save the environment, focus on a simple endeavor like organizing a cleanup in the neighborhood or creating a garden. In this way they get the idea that purpose comes from doing and striving. On top of that, it’s really helpful to give children examples of people, famous or not, who found meaning through their work. At the same time, emphasize that one’s purpose can change and it doesn’t have to be a grand one or a perfect one.
Besides that role playing is big too. “Children learn much more from what they see than from what they hear. So let them see you follow your interests, pick yourself up from setbacks and help out the community. Involve them in your family values and decision-making discussions. “Create rituals, like a weekly reflection time, when everyone has the opportunity to say something they are thankful for or something they were able to overcome. It helps them to be able to find meaning in both their successes and struggles.”
Lastly, build a culture where liberty and safety can co-exist. Focus on kindness, creativity, and hard work as being the source of success, not innate gifts. Help them to realize that mistakes and diversions are an integral part of figuring out their purpose in life, and it is OK if this evolves as they grow. If your child seems excessively troubled or confused, it’s appropriate to seek outside help from a counselor, mentor or other mental health professional.
In the end, you’re helping children to have a life that is meaningful to them by supporting them in their search for their life’s purpose. But with careful attention, curiosity, and patience, you can provide your children with an enduring sense of purpose that will serve them long beyond childhood. The miracle of life is the journey itself – the questions asked, answers found and growth discovered along the way.
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